Thanks Stuart for this...Although at the time I posted this question I had given up on the video upload issue and just wanted to know why the failed videos did not show as failed in the tabs Not processed or failed since that seems like the logical reason for having those tabs.
But I think your post will help people having problems figuring out their video upload problem...For me I was able to figure it out my issue 1 hour before my self impossed deadline to get it fixed or switch to a different product.
My fix was to take the ffmpeg file from an old backup of my d6 site and swap it out with the one from my d7 download and much to my surprise it worked......
But still dont understand why we have tabs that are not used in the video section still one of many mysteries.