Guys, I'm afraid you're in a mind-frozen state here, so let me challenge the assumptions.
Option 1 of mobile version was disregarded based on what again? "I keep asking friends and relatives - they all hate them!" hm, that's a very logical reasoning. The mobile versions are not always done in the way I'd like them to be, but browsing a desktop website on a phone is much worse. If you ask your question: "Do you love the mobile version of this website?" the answer of course would see more be "no", since there're usually some limitations. However, try asking them - what would you prefer to browse on your phone if you had to do the most basic task - the desktop or the mobile version? The answer, I'm pretty sure, would be "of course the mobile version!".
Now I kind of get the reason behind boonex's lack of interest in the mobile version. They sell the app for $800. Why on Earth would they cannibalize that revenue?
BTW, if you're already looking at what Facebook and Google do (and so do match.com, wallmart, ebay, amazon, etc) of course they have the "m." version! It's plain immature and unprofessional to not have one.
What do I think when I get to a desktop version of a website on my phone? I think "either the guys are still living in the stone age, or they don't have the money to develop the mobile version".
Another quick reason agains Option 3 - most of the people are not advanced users. They don't even know how to download an app. Moreover, why SHOULD I download anything to my precious phone before I try the website? I would always go the website and check it out first to see whether it's something that I would use on such a frequent basis that would justify polluting my phone screen with yet another icon. I go to the website and - holy shit, it's fugly! I don't want to download that app now even if I considered it previously.
Regarding option 4 - why do you want to sacrifice the elegancy of the design that can be achieved if optimized for the right screen size? Anything that is not optimized would be uglier. The desktop version would be ugly AND the mobile version would be ugly. It's like if you need to come up with a product that would fit both - short people and tall people. You make a product that would fit the average height. Congratulations, now everybody hate your product - it doesn't fit the shorties and it doesn't fit the tallies.
I have to disagree with you. People who use smartphones not only know what an app is but also know how to add one. Even my 87 year old mom with her Kindle knows how to do this.
I would suggest moving the links to the mobile apps to a prominent position on the site and using the App-store's logo, which people recognize and will click if they see it (this assumes that you have Prime and can adapt the apps to your site).
Option 1 of mobile version was disregarded based on what again? "I keep asking friends and relatives - they all hate them!" hm, that's a very logical reasoning. The mobile versions are not always done in the way I'd like them to be, but browsing a desktop website on a phone is much worse. If you ask your question: "Do you love the mobile version of this website?" the answer of course would see more
I would suggest moving the links to the mobile apps to a prominent position on the site and using the App-store's logo, which people recognize and will click if they see it (this assumes that you have Prime and can adapt the apps to your site).